The word “holiday” comes from an Old English word “hāligdæg” which is a contraction for the modern English words “holy day.” The word “holy” is a word that means “set apart” and the word “day” means “day.” So a holiday is a day that is set apart from all the other days in order to recognize it as significant or special. In the USA we use holidays as an opportunity or as an obligation to convene with friends and family in order to celebrate. Typically our celebrations have absolutely nothing to do with what the day is all about, but nevertheless most people take comfort in the fact that they aren’t at work and in the company of others.

That being said, I use to like holidays for the precise reasons mentioned above. It gave me and excuse not to work and to spend time with my family. I’ll admit, when I was I was a young adult, holidays were an obligation not an opportunity. However, in recent years holidays did become a day that I set apart specifically to spend with my family and to enjoy the blessings that resulted from being together. I am sad to say that I am struggling with the idea that the upcoming holidays are either obligations or opportunities. On one hand, I feel as if those days are just like any of the other days these past five months: devoid of my Mom. On the other hand, I still love my Dad and my Sister and would probably enjoy taking some time to slow down and be together. I am also sad to say that I’m struggling with that idea of togetherness. On one hand, we aren’t together if the “we” includes my Mom. But if the “we” is reluctantly reduced to just the three of us, then yes, “we” will be together for the holidays.

The other thing is, there’s no ignoring the holidays. Cornucopias are up in store windows along with pictures of Turkeys and Pilgrims and Christmas lights are already twinkling on some houses and even some roof-top, corporate Christmas Trees are already a beacon in the night sky. I sure fooled myself if I ever thought for a moment that I could turn a blind eye the holidays until the last minute. But we, like so many others this year, will be doing our best to muddle through holidays that were always precisely planned and orchestrated by my Mom. She always made the arrangements for who was coming over or where we were going. She always had the menu planned well in advance. She always made sure our Christmas Lists were logged and registered with her. She always handed us the Christmas ornaments and decorations in a specific order so that both my sister and I got to hang the same amount. She always use to say, “We aren’t going to have very many presents this year” and then would surprise us with just about everything that was on our list. She always use to sit cross-legged underneath the Christmas Tree and hand us the presents in a certain order so as to give the gifts in the perfect order.

No matter what was going on in our family, or at work, or at school, the holidays were a special time that was set aside for just family. My Mom did her best to make each one an opportunity for joy and love and togetherness, even if we treated it like an obligation. She made the holidays perfect.

I had mentioned in my Mom’s Eulogy that spending Holiday’s together as a family were very important to her, and usually she was the glue that held the day and the family together. Needless to say it was a little wierd yesterday to spend the holiday apart from each other and apart from Mom.

Obviously the holidays are going to be difficult for us to navigate wtihout Mom’s guidance and zeal for family time, but no matter how much fun we don’t have on a holiday without her, it brings me comfort knowing that her joy and satisfaction is more complete than ours everyday and every moment she is with her Savior.

Keep praying for our family…

1. Don’t Be A Hero
   What I mean by this is sometimes if there are multiple Doctors appointments in one day, as well as lots of running around to pharmacies and other errands, it may be best to call for reinforcements. Perhaps another family member or friend that can take your patient to one of the earlier appointments, and then you can step in later in the day. What this does is provide a distraction for the patient, as they will want to sit and talk to the family member/friend while they are in the waiting room and won’t have run out of things to say or talk about. Having been at the majority of the appointments yesterday, all we had left to talk about at the last appointment was how long the wait was, making a 15 minute wait seem like 30 because we were both frustrated. If you’ve split the day up between multiple people, it gives the patient a chance to start a new conversation and keep their mind, and your mind, off how long things are taking.
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2. Bring Distractions
   Books, easy card games, your own magazines and even a hand-held game can help pass the time while you wait for the nurses and Doctors to get their act together. Most of the time, you’ve read all the magazines in the waiting room before, or if you like a certain magazine, chances are someone is already reading it. In my case someone grabbed it when I put it down for a second to help Mom with her oxygen tank. Perhaps there is a book you are dying to read that isn’t intellectually intense and you can pick it up and put it down without having to go back and read a few pages to get back into it. I find that Fiction works best in this case, but I’m sure a few of you out there could probably be reading a book on Theology and jump right back in. What is probably the best solution is something that keeps both you and the patient distracted. Such a small hand-held game that you can pass back and forth (sound off of course) that will keep you from wanting to stick your foot out in front of the out-of-control kids that keep running by you. Simply buy an extra tote bag and put all the necessary distractions in it to keep your mind off the wait.
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3. Bring Food And Water
   Chances are if you have a lot of traveling back and forth across town you’re going to get hungry. Eating at a sit-down restaurant is risky business because you never know when the service is going to be slow or lousy. Eating fast-food should never be an option because it’s overpriced and not good for you. This means you probably need to pack a lunch and some assorted snacks for your journeys of the day. Even an expert climber is going to pack something to eat if he is only climbing for a few hours. Driving in the car, especially if there is traffic, can be very hard on your body if you have to do it all day, so don’t be fooled into thinking that you’re resting as that 18 wheeler almost smashes into you. You should also bring a few bottles of water. Doctors offices are notoriously cold and air conditioned. This makes the air very dry and you can easily get dehydrated if you’re not careful. The same goes for the car. Chances are, you drive with the AC on in the summer-time which dries you out.
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4. Know The Difference Between Patience And Patients
   There will come a time when the Doctor’s office, or hospital is behind schedule and backed up. Because of Genesis 3 sickness abounds on the earth and there are lots of people that are sick. When you’ve been waiting 20 minutes with 6 other people because the gal behind the desk is making phone calls instead of helping patients it’s easy to loose your patience. However, sometimes the rooms are full of people that need help and the people behind the counter were not responsible for your last waiting room experience, so it’s better to be patient rather then rush the other patients. You, as the driver/helper of your loved one know how it feels to be in the waiting room for 30 minutes, only to have the Doctor see you for 5 minutes. Make sure you don’t add to the problem by being impatient while the Doctor is in with a patient.

This list is not exhaustive and if you can think of anything to add here, feel free to do so by leaving a comment below.

My heart was crushed because for the first time I realized that I could loose one of the few people on this earth that love me no matter what.

During her first major stay in the hospital I was in the midst of my first month at The Master’s College. Feel free to visit my blog to find out why that is more significant that it sounds, but trust me when I tell you that when I enrolled there I thought my greatest burden would be homework, reading and writing. But, suddenly things were turned upside down. Suddenly, as I watched my Mom struggling to breath and fighting for her life, understanding the theological implications of Genesis 3 became essential to my day to day life. Suddenly, as my Mom slowly began to regain her strength only to be hammered by the merciless side-effects of chemo, writing a paper about the role of medicine in the life of a believer had taken on new meaning.

And then there were the people that God placed into my life. My roommates, my wing-mates, my dorm-mates, my class-mates all came along side of my family and I like the pillar of cloud that protected the Hebrews from the Egyptians in Exodus.

19Then the angel of God who was going before the host of Israel moved and went behind them, and the pillar of cloud moved from before them and stood behind them, 20coming between the host of Egypt and the host of Israel. And there was the cloud and the darkness. And it lit up the night without one coming near the other all night.
-Exodus 14:19-20 (ESV)

The faculty and staff at TMC prayed for my Mom everyday in class, at lunch and in their staff meetings. Friends and faculty alike pleaded with the Lord to spare her life and to heal her. It was during that time I learned something about my prayers to the Lord. I learned that it was okay for me to pray that God would heal my Mom, just so long as I remembered that there were two possible answers to that prayer. The first answer is that God would heal my Mom here on earth and allow her more time to Glorify Him. The second answer, was that God could heal her by taking her home to heaven to spend all eternity with Him where there will be no more sickness or suffering. From that day forward I have prayed that, by the power of the Lord Jesus Christ my Mom will be healed-either here on earth, or in heaven with Him-and that I would praise God no matter what His decision will be.

I can confidently say that while I am on this journey with my Mom, I will treasure and cherish every moment that I can get with her. Despite the fact that I feel guilty for being so far away at school, she has assured me that it’s what she wants me to do, and so I will continue to endure here at TMC during these trials. But every day I get to come home, every weekend I can sneak away, every class-period that my professors allow me to miss, I will use to love, serve, encourage and cherish my Mom. Not only because I’m a Christian and it’s the Lord’s command, but because she would do the same for me as an example of her unyielding love for her son and her unwavering love for her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Do the do: James 2:17,
Cliff Ames Jr.