We’d love for you to download these clips and make them available to people that are currently fighting cancer as well as cancer survivors and to families that have lost loved ones. We hope that Deborah’s story will inspire not because of her strength, but from the strength she found in her Savior Jesus Christ.

The other thing that has hit me is that, because my mom died when she was 50, she was half done with her life at 25. I will be turning 25 in February, and that is a scary thought. Of course none of us knows our last day, for all I know half my life could have been two years ago, and I’d never know it. The point is that I realize more every day, that I need to do my best not to waste any time in my life. Not that I should rush into everything, but rather that I need to make sure I’m not spending time doing pointless activities. My time should be spent with people, building into them, caring for them, sharing life with them. People in my family, people in the body of Christ, people who need Christ. My life should be more Gospel centered, so that if my calling card is next year, in 25 years or in 50 years, I will be able to hear the words every Christian longs to hear when they get to heaven, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Nadene

All the celebrating has been accompanied by some sadness. I really missed my mom. She always made birthdays special. Just her smile was enough to let me know how much she loved me and wanted to show me that on my birthday. One of the memories that popped into my head was my first year at college. My mom snuck into my dorm room, waited for me to come back from class. She was there with balloons and the biggest smile you ever saw! As I walked in the door, she said, “Surprise! Happy Birthday!!!” She explained that she couldn’t stand the thought of being away from me on my birthday so she took the day off of work and came up to surprise me and take me and any of my friends I wanted to dinner. I don’t even remember who I took or where we went but I do remember her smile and the love I felt from her. I want to cherish this memory forever! (which is why I’m writing it down so I will not forget!)

Every milestone of my life will be this way. Half of my heart will be joyful and the other half will be sorrowful. I was recently telling a friend that I’m sure that when I finally get my first full time job I will be balling and rejoicing all at the same time. The same will happen when I get engaged, get married, have my first child etc. I will always wish that she could be around to share in those memories. But she is so happy where she is, I could never ask her to come back. I just have to wait for my turn And don’t worry I’m not saying this as if I am planning on taking control of when I get to heaven, I’m saying this as Paul did:  I sometimes feel like I can hardly wait to get to heaven! I think this is actually how God wants us to live: longing for heaven, longing for eternity with Him. Oh how sweet that day will be!

Nadene

Recently, I have been working on getting a second job. The one I have at Sylvan is great but I am not getting enough hours. Things are just slow there right now. So I am praying as I apply in several districts for substitute teaching positions. My goal is to have my own classroom in the 2009-2010 school year. I am thanking the Lord for my relationship with the Parsons who support me through giving me many many babysitting hours with their sweet kids! It’s such a teat!

I was able to do something very fun a few weeks ago. I went to Disneyland with my wonderful friend Ashely, whom I met in college. We had a blast riding all the rides, watching the “Billy Hill and the Hillbillies” show and taking a million picutes.  It was a nice break from the mundane, and who could be sad at the “Happiest Place on Earth!” Next month I get to go to Sea World for a friend’s birthday, and that will be my first trip to Sea World. Get excited!

One way I have been dealing with the ongoing process of healing is by meeting with someone to discuss how I’m feeling about everything about once a week. The woman that I am meeting with is very sweet and we have truly grown to be friends. During our last meeting, I realized I had made some real progress. This month, I didn’t obsess over the date my mom died. For those first few months I really noticed the days passing by. I knew exactly, to the day, how long it had been, and I knew how long it would be till the next month passed. However, this month, the 18th came and went completely unnoticed by my date radar. It was so nice to have something that I felt was a tangible way of looking back over the last few months and feeling like I had moved forward in my journey. Two months ago, I could not have imagined where I would be. It’s hard to see the road ahead of you in the journey of greif. I felt for awhile that I was simply walking on a treadmill, trying to move forward but when I looked around the scenery looked the same. I realize now that it’s kind of like how the world moves around the sun. You don’t feel it, but one day you suddenly realize that it’s getting dark at 6pm. The sun doesn’t all of a sudden go down at 6 instead of 8! The sun sets a little earlier every night. The change is very slow, but steady. That is exactly how this journey is: I am moving, slowly but steadily. I may not see the changes from day to day, but I will see the mile stones pop up periodically, and those mile stones will spur me on to continue walking, knowing that I will get where I need to go, if I walk in faith.

For the most part, I don’t’ really know what kinds of trials I will have along this journey. But one I can anticipate is the holidays. Yes, even though they are still a month away, we are preparing as a family for the upcoming holiday season. My mother LOVED the holidays. She loved us spending time as a family, she loved Christmas music, she loved the food, the desserts and celebrating God’s goodness to us. We are going to miss her a lot this holiday season. I am gearing myself up for my emotions to be out of wack, but I am also determined not to ignore the holidays. I want to spend Thanksgiving, truly giving thanks for my blessings, and Christmas enjoying the celebration of my Savior’s birth. I want to balance my grief with the joy that comes from having Christ.

Thank you to all of those of you who continue to pray for my family and I. I will always need your prayers and I hope that I can continue to lift you up in prayer as you need it as well. Again, I will try to be updating more often.

Nadene

1. I am thankful to God that he provided me with morning hours at my job. It gets me up at a reasonable hour but not at the butt crack of dawn and I work ’till noon everyday. This has created for me a morning schedule that suits my needs and pays very well for my bills.
2. After work I eat some lunch and let my food digest then I recently discovered a “complementary” Exercise TV program selection from our On Demand channel through our cable. I have been “walking away the blues” in my living room, as per the instructor’s words. It’s fun so far to try the different exercise videos that are available. They also get my heart rate up and get my joints moving like they should at my age!
3. After I finish my exercise I have begun to listen to a theatrical reading of the New Testament on CD. It’s been fun and very uplifting, much better than watching Judge Judy   While I listen I either sit quietly and take it all in or do some dishes or dusting around the house.

These are my first few “baby steps” (if you’ve ever seen the movie ‘What About Bob’ then you are laughing right now I hope). They are working so far. I still have many many sad moments, but overall I feel like I have a goal. The goal is to not crawl in a hole, but instead to live as my mother taught me to, “do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Our family greatly appreciates your continued prayers for our healing. We will continue to need it for a long long time.

Nadene

The Daily Breeze

LA Funeral

The service and reception will be held at:

Journey Of Faith Church
1243 Artesia Blvd
Manhattan Beach, CA 90266

[googleMap name="Journey Of Faith Church" width="500" height="400"]1243 Artesia Blvd. Manhattan Beach, CA 90266[/googleMap]

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In lieu of flowers, when thinking of Deborah in the days ahead, please give generously to World Impact.

Deborah Ames went home to be with Jesus at 6:15pm on June 18th, 2008. Her family was at her side as Jesus ushered her into His loving arms.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact: webmaster@deborahames.org

“13I can do all things through HIM who strengthens me.”
-Philippians 4:13 (ESV)