17 February 2009
The First Birthday
Posted by Nadene under: Blog; Nadene's Thoughts .
My first birthday without my mom was yesterday. I had a pretty good day yesterday. It was low key and although mostly uneventful, still good. Dad and Cliff and I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner on Sunday. I got a gigantic piece of chocolate cake for dessert! It was awesome! Next Sunday we are going to take a little day trip and Cliff is going to treat me to some shopping. He’s such a good brother. 
All the celebrating has been accompanied by some sadness. I really missed my mom. She always made birthdays special. Just her smile was enough to let me know how much she loved me and wanted to show me that on my birthday. One of the memories that popped into my head was my first year at college. My mom snuck into my dorm room, waited for me to come back from class. She was there with balloons and the biggest smile you ever saw! As I walked in the door, she said, “Surprise! Happy Birthday!!!” She explained that she couldn’t stand the thought of being away from me on my birthday so she took the day off of work and came up to surprise me and take me and any of my friends I wanted to dinner. I don’t even remember who I took or where we went but I do remember her smile and the love I felt from her. I want to cherish this memory forever! (which is why I’m writing it down so I will not forget!)
Every milestone of my life will be this way. Half of my heart will be joyful and the other half will be sorrowful. I was recently telling a friend that I’m sure that when I finally get my first full time job I will be balling and rejoicing all at the same time. The same will happen when I get engaged, get married, have my first child etc. I will always wish that she could be around to share in those memories. But she is so happy where she is, I could never ask her to come back. I just have to wait for my turn And don’t worry I’m not saying this as if I am planning on taking control of when I get to heaven, I’m saying this as Paul did: I sometimes feel like I can hardly wait to get to heaven! I think this is actually how God wants us to live: longing for heaven, longing for eternity with Him. Oh how sweet that day will be!
Nadene
One Comment so far...
Cheryl Canty Says:
7 August 2009 at 12:49 pm.
Nadene;
I had my first birthday without my mom too. Definitely bitter-sweet, almost confusing, wondering when she was going to arrive. What day more bonds us to our mother than the day of our BIRTH? My mom was older (73) yet still there is such a void… she really wasn’t that old. This year I relived every day… (I do that the first year after someone passes). I remember the last Bible Study I was at… I said good-bye to Deborah, because I had to go pick up my Daughter Rachel from college at the University of Oregon. I got a call from Judi Storie telling me your mom had passed. Two days later I got a call from my friend Margie telling me my other friend Debbie (age 50) also passed away! I was on vacation, but in shock! Then I came home from Oregon with my daughter and family; my mother was so glad to see her granddaughter again, and told her she waited to see her… that was June… my mom passed July 21, 2008. Last year was a difficult year… so I am doing alot of reflecting this year. But we are confident of this very thing… that HE who has begun a good work in us… HE will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ! Our moms are just making sure our mansion is already for us! God Bless you Nadine;
Cheryl