17 November 2008
Coping With The “Holidays”
Posted by Cliff Jr. under: Cliff Jr's Thoughts .
The word “holiday” comes from an Old English word “hāligdæg” which is a contraction for the modern English words “holy day.” The word “holy” is a word that means “set apart” and the word “day” means “day.” So a holiday is a day that is set apart from all the other days in order to recognize it as significant or special. In the USA we use holidays as an opportunity or as an obligation to convene with friends and family in order to celebrate. Typically our celebrations have absolutely nothing to do with what the day is all about, but nevertheless most people take comfort in the fact that they aren’t at work and in the company of others.
That being said, I use to like holidays for the precise reasons mentioned above. It gave me and excuse not to work and to spend time with my family. I’ll admit, when I was I was a young adult, holidays were an obligation not an opportunity. However, in recent years holidays did become a day that I set apart specifically to spend with my family and to enjoy the blessings that resulted from being together. I am sad to say that I am struggling with the idea that the upcoming holidays are either obligations or opportunities. On one hand, I feel as if those days are just like any of the other days these past five months: devoid of my Mom. On the other hand, I still love my Dad and my Sister and would probably enjoy taking some time to slow down and be together. I am also sad to say that I’m struggling with that idea of togetherness. On one hand, we aren’t together if the “we” includes my Mom. But if the “we” is reluctantly reduced to just the three of us, then yes, “we” will be together for the holidays.
The other thing is, there’s no ignoring the holidays. Cornucopias are up in store windows along with pictures of Turkeys and Pilgrims and Christmas lights are already twinkling on some houses and even some roof-top, corporate Christmas Trees are already a beacon in the night sky. I sure fooled myself if I ever thought for a moment that I could turn a blind eye the holidays until the last minute. But we, like so many others this year, will be doing our best to muddle through holidays that were always precisely planned and orchestrated by my Mom. She always made the arrangements for who was coming over or where we were going. She always had the menu planned well in advance. She always made sure our Christmas Lists were logged and registered with her. She always handed us the Christmas ornaments and decorations in a specific order so that both my sister and I got to hang the same amount. She always use to say, “We aren’t going to have very many presents this year” and then would surprise us with just about everything that was on our list. She always use to sit cross-legged underneath the Christmas Tree and hand us the presents in a certain order so as to give the gifts in the perfect order.
No matter what was going on in our family, or at work, or at school, the holidays were a special time that was set aside for just family. My Mom did her best to make each one an opportunity for joy and love and togetherness, even if we treated it like an obligation. She made the holidays perfect.